You ever been so thirsty that you drink so much that you give yourself a tummy ache so you stop drinking -- even though you are still thirsty? Or that you are so hungry that you eat way too much, but you don't know it at the time because you were still hungry but then you got sick because you had actually eaten too much? You know, it is possible to do something too quickly, and not get the full effect of it because it just washes completely away. I think that that is the way I was with those books of Natalie Goldberg. I loved her books and the ideas that were in there, and I certainly raved about her tips and techniques in this very same blog, but have applied almost none of them. I have actually consciously applied none of them, but I am living in the faith that some of them have come into my being and that some have worked their way out into my life and writing.
It is like this analogy I have heard in church, relating to the Holy Spirit and the way it works itseld out. We are talking about Soaking Prayer, if you will. When someone is not in close ot God, but is dry, then experiences the Holy Spirit in a powerful way, it may not have much of an effect, right at first. But it does change the person, and makes them more receptive the next time it happens again. Eventually, the person is receptive enough to get the full effect of the Spirit. It is like the dry land in the desert or a drought condition. When a summer storm rips through and dumps loads and loads of rain on the ground too quickly, it just runs off and floods. Farmers need steady solid gentle rains, as does the desert. It is the same with people. When the dry ground is overwhelmed by the rain waters, it is too dry to take it in. In the same way, a dry person who can not recieve the Lord's Spirit at first can be ovewhelmed, then slowly becomes more receptive. That is how the power of God works. In the same way, I was so stoked by Goldberg's ideas that I was overwhelmed and the flooded me and did not have the impact that I had hoped. I was the farmer whose dry crops are destroyed my flood waters or the dry desert which turns to mud after a summer squall. I was too dry to receive, and it is a total bummer.
I need to re read the tips and techniques and figure out how to apply them slowly in my life. This blog is supposed to be a version of morning pages, but I have not been able to pull that off. Nor have I been able to do the Artist Date or the other techniques. Bummer. They really did sound good. I will try to not turn this rant into a flood of self loathing. So I am resolving to do better with her techniques, to do better with this blog, and to generally do better with my writing.
Maybe it is a matter of doing too much at once. I am trying to change too many things at the same time. I am trying to work on assignments for a writers' group, finish up last years' Na No Wri Mo novel, think just a little bit about this years' Na No Wri Mo novel, and of course hit Chicago and St. Louis for academic conferences. Did I mention that I won an award at one? I think I did. I even think I wrote a whole blog entry about it, so much for self loathing, that was more like a little too much self loving. Oh well, just swing that particular pendulum back and forth. Well, that was work, and this is fun. So the standards have to be different in an odd sort of way. Anyway, I am trying to re-work my life around to work writing into it, so maybe I need to just back burner the Goldberg stuff and re read it slowly and slowly until I am ready to recieve the power of it. I recognize the power of it, but I am way too dry to recieve it. So I need to avoid the next thunderstorm so as to avoid the following flood, and take it in slowly, preparing my fallow ground to rightly receive the power of the advice. I am not ready to implement all of the ideas that she proposed. We have proven that beyond the shadow of a doubt. And I am not even ready to get ready to implement all of the ideas that she proposed. But I think that I can honestly say that I am now ready to get ready ot get ready to implement all of the ideas that she proposed. I will keep you posted.
It is like this analogy I have heard in church, relating to the Holy Spirit and the way it works itseld out. We are talking about Soaking Prayer, if you will. When someone is not in close ot God, but is dry, then experiences the Holy Spirit in a powerful way, it may not have much of an effect, right at first. But it does change the person, and makes them more receptive the next time it happens again. Eventually, the person is receptive enough to get the full effect of the Spirit. It is like the dry land in the desert or a drought condition. When a summer storm rips through and dumps loads and loads of rain on the ground too quickly, it just runs off and floods. Farmers need steady solid gentle rains, as does the desert. It is the same with people. When the dry ground is overwhelmed by the rain waters, it is too dry to take it in. In the same way, a dry person who can not recieve the Lord's Spirit at first can be ovewhelmed, then slowly becomes more receptive. That is how the power of God works. In the same way, I was so stoked by Goldberg's ideas that I was overwhelmed and the flooded me and did not have the impact that I had hoped. I was the farmer whose dry crops are destroyed my flood waters or the dry desert which turns to mud after a summer squall. I was too dry to receive, and it is a total bummer.
I need to re read the tips and techniques and figure out how to apply them slowly in my life. This blog is supposed to be a version of morning pages, but I have not been able to pull that off. Nor have I been able to do the Artist Date or the other techniques. Bummer. They really did sound good. I will try to not turn this rant into a flood of self loathing. So I am resolving to do better with her techniques, to do better with this blog, and to generally do better with my writing.
Maybe it is a matter of doing too much at once. I am trying to change too many things at the same time. I am trying to work on assignments for a writers' group, finish up last years' Na No Wri Mo novel, think just a little bit about this years' Na No Wri Mo novel, and of course hit Chicago and St. Louis for academic conferences. Did I mention that I won an award at one? I think I did. I even think I wrote a whole blog entry about it, so much for self loathing, that was more like a little too much self loving. Oh well, just swing that particular pendulum back and forth. Well, that was work, and this is fun. So the standards have to be different in an odd sort of way. Anyway, I am trying to re-work my life around to work writing into it, so maybe I need to just back burner the Goldberg stuff and re read it slowly and slowly until I am ready to recieve the power of it. I recognize the power of it, but I am way too dry to recieve it. So I need to avoid the next thunderstorm so as to avoid the following flood, and take it in slowly, preparing my fallow ground to rightly receive the power of the advice. I am not ready to implement all of the ideas that she proposed. We have proven that beyond the shadow of a doubt. And I am not even ready to get ready to implement all of the ideas that she proposed. But I think that I can honestly say that I am now ready to get ready ot get ready to implement all of the ideas that she proposed. I will keep you posted.
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